How are you? I pray that you and your loved ones are safe and sound during this unprecedented time. I’ve been quietly taking everything in over here, but wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking of you. As you’ve probably experienced too, the shock and adrenaline of “quarantine life” has now morphed into a feeling of grief for the old “normal” and all the celebrations that have been missed. It’s undeniably hard. Over the last few weeks, I have worked with clients to figure out how to reschedule events; how to keep traditions alive in unusual circumstances; how to maintain the JOY when our calendars are out of our own control. There’s an overarching feeling of helplessness. My grandmother shared with me recently about the fears she had during a similar time of uncertainty. At seven years old, her Dad left to serve in WWII for 42 straight months. She said it was heartbreaking. They were unsure about when things were ever going be back to normal, but the community always rallied around one another to get through. They were not in isolation.
COVID-19 has challenged our ability to cope by physically removing our support systems. Has your wedding / birthday party / graduation / annual Easter egg hunt / [insert your specific milestone] been put on the back burner because of social distancing? Loss of expectations can disorient us all, no matter what the circumstances. It’s important to remember we are not alone, however. As my grandmother reminded me, we must rally together - even when we’re physically apart! I hope you know I’m here for you and “at the ready” with any Old Southern Charm services you may need. Whether it’s creating a road map for a future event, managing a past plan, or simply finding a way to celebrate from a safe distance, your vision matters. Life is meant to be celebrated. And it is specifically meant to be celebrated with others! Please let me know what I can do to help.
Looking forward to talking more soon.
With Love and Gratitude,
Catherine
Photo Credit: Sugar Rationing, The National Archives
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Feeling the heat and running out of creative ideas in the kitchen? Let’s up our game and try out some fun twists on classic southern ingredients! To start, let me introduce my adorable friend Shannon Parker… she’s all about getting creative in the kitchen.
After being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, she had to adapt her favorite southern dishes to match her healthier lifestyle. I am BEYOND impressed with this chica! She slowed down the stress and upped healthier cooking habits without compromising flavor (my kinda lady…). When I asked Shannon if she might share some summer supper ideas with my Old Southern Charm friends, she got so excited and had a ton of amazing recipe ideas. I had to narrow it down to 3 here for times sake, but if you’re on the hunt for healthy, family friendly meal ideas, please go check out her new website at shannonparker.org or follow her for “faith, food & fitness” tips on Instagram! So, without further ado… here’s what I’m trying out from Shannon’s kitchen this month: Summer Steak, Feel Good Mac N’ Cheese, Easy Sweet Potatoes.
Bonus: Can you guess what’s in Shannon’s gorgeous summer salad above? Watermelon radishes certainly steal the show! * If you have Southern Supper ideas, please help a mama out! Message me directly or tag your social media photos with #southernsupperideas to share your favorites… healthy ingredients not a requirement, wink!
]]>Monogram Everything: Not sure this is so different than any other time in the south, but I LOVE that the monogram tradition is still going strong. Check out my friend Emma’s adorable clutches that would be the perfect bridesmaid gift or bridal shower present: Emma Lyn Designs. Personalized Styrofoam Cups and Napkins have been a huge hit for Old Southern Charm this year and would make a great monogrammed gift idea too: Personalized Cups on Old Southern Charm
Shop Small: This is probably not a surprise, but the #shoplocal #shopsmall trend is very exciting to me. Small businesses are countering the power of corporate retailers and it’s working. Nothing makes shopping less fun than when no one cares about you or why you’re buying a certain item. I’ve found a couple of adorable small shops that deserve some love if you’re in the market for a gift. Check out these fun gifts from Delta Girl Frames: Handmade Picture Frames. Lula Flora is another small shop that I turn to a lot for small gift ideas. Check out their mini pinatas … I’m dying for someone to use them with the Old Southern Charm Margarita Invitation. Who wouldn’t want to be part of that fiesta?!
Florals are in! Have you seen all the pictures lately of brides getting ready on their wedding day, surrounded by their favorite friends in matching floral robes? It’s a HUGE trend. Reminds me slightly of 1992 and Laura Ashley clad matching twin bed comforters… but I digress HA. I LOVE florals and really am glad the floral fashion statement is back! Check out these inexpensive, personalized sunglasses. A perfect surprise for the whole bride tribe!
I hope these bridesmaid gift trends get your gift-giving creative juices flowing. As always, I’m here to help brainstorm if needed! This month I’m launching 30 minute design consultations. They’re FREE conference calls for clients needing a little extra TLC talking through party planning. Old Southern Charm is known as a One-Stop Hospitality Shop and my goal is to always make things easy on the party planner, bride, new-mom, and modern hostess. So stay in touch and we look forward to sharing more news on our NEW website next month!
]]>The question that has continuously returned to my mind post-retreat has been: How can deeply connected friendship happen in just 4 days?? One, I think women are just gifted in this area, but two, we are ALL longing for deep, personal connections right now. Aren’t you? I’d be thrilled to know how you connect with friends and family outside of social media. Do you go on weekly walks? Plan annual vacations together? Have a pen pal? Send me your insights at catherine@oldsoutherncharm.com.
I’d also love for you to hold me accountable for something. One of my goals with Old Southern Charm has been to sloooooow down. I intentionally don’t do expedited orders or instant downloads. I’ve certainly lost some customers from these policies, but I’m ok with that. I genuinely want to connect with people, hear about their party, know why they’re celebrating, collaborate on the final design. That just doesn’t happen when you don’t have time to talk. So I’ll leave us “Front Porch Friends” with a final word of encouragement this month, a confirmation that slow living is the best living, a reminder when our internal pace can’t keep up with the constant motion of the outer world. “Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
Photo Credit: Kristyn Hogan]]>So what can you/we do as friends to help those around us who are going through tough times? Here are my 3 “Tried and True” Tips:
One of the first thing people text/write/email during times of grief is “Let us know if we can do anything for you.” Have you ever heard back from someone that you’ve said this to? I haven’t. Being on the receiving end of this question puts you in a difficult position too… “YES, I need help! I literally can’t function right now; never mind make dinner for my husband, 2 year old, and 8 family members camping out at our house!” (Side note: not every situation is as extreme as ours, but hopefully you get the picture…) Trust me, just go visit your friend. See what they need in person. I didn’t exactly know what tangible items I needed, but now I do: I needed them. I needed my friends and closest family to love on me, share their strength and remind me to eat. Which leads me to…
I think this is something that Southerners really get right. We know how to share food and commune together wholeheartedly. Your grieving friend may end up with multiples of food and that is OK! (It’s actually amazing how much food guests of grieving people eat (nervous energy?) so just go into the whole process thinking ‘this will be shared by many!’) Whatever you bring, however much you bring, to whomever you bring it: food is always comforting. I love what Alan Wolfett, author of The Wilderness of Grief says, “Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate.”
Ideas: 1) Bring a Breakfast Basket: Muffins, Pastries, Precut Fruit, Orange Juice. 2) Casseroles ready to eat or freeze (preferably in a disposable tray. It’s really challenging to remember whose dish was whose, especially during emotionally difficult times). 3) Pick-up food from their spouse/caretaker/children’s favorite restaurant. It’ll make their day too.
While the initial outpouring of love is absolutely wonderful (and completely necessary), it’s just as important to check back in later. It gets quiet QUICK. Here are some easy ideas to show your loved ones you’re still thinking about them: A) Put the DOH (Date of Heartbreak) in your calendar and mark it again one year later. Acknowledging the DOH anniversary is enormously helpful and can make the experience less isolating. B) Books! One of the best care packages I received included Max Lucado’s You’ll Get Through This. I didn’t read it right away, but wow, did it help 4 months down the road! Please note: Old Southern Charm’s Shop is now carrying book care packages to spread this love with others. If theres been a book that helped you through a difficult time, please email me! I’d love to carry it. C) Don’t be afraid to send a card later down the road and directly mention the heartbreak. There’s no need to allude to the incident with an ambiguous “I’m thinking of you”. It’s OK to say “I’m thinking of you and know you’re missing Sam. We all are. Sending big hugs your way!”. Personalization always goes the extra mile.
Grieving with others can often be awkward, emotional, and frankly, hard on you, the supporter. It’s not easy, but I promise: your friend will never forget the kindness shown during their difficult time. I know Barbara Bush didn’t forget and I can’t help but think the pillar of strength she became grew directly out of the pain of losing a child. She is quoted saying “At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.” So go be with your friends. And don’t forget to be just as present in the hard times too. Rest In Peace, dear Bar.
]]>I’ve been on a quest lately to accept imperfection. As an artist, I’m constantly battling my inner perfectionism. It’s my career to make things aesthetically pleasing, yet most of the time my personal life can’t stand up to the pressure. Do you ever feel that way? The voice may start small: “This house is a wreck! We’re never going to host a dinner party again”, but soon a larger cultural pressure chimes in saying “your parties will never look like the ones on social media”. Gosh dang it, Pinterest!
So where do we find balance? Is it still possible to host people at your home and have fun doing it? I believe the answer is yes, but with a caveat: keep your perspective in check. I️ came across an article this week with a built-in “ah ha” moment. The article discussed the Japanese lifestyle mantra “Wabi Sabi”. It’s like Feng Shui-ing your mindset. Created in the 15th Century, early practitioners reminded people to simplify and embrace the imperfect. Robyn Griggs Lawrence, Editor of Natural Home magazine describes this difficult-to-translate state of mind like this:
Wabi-Sabi is everything that today’s sleek, mass-produced, technology-saturated culture isn’t. It’s flea markets, not shopping malls; aged wood, not swank floor coverings; one single morning glory, not a dozen red roses… It celebrates cracks and crevices and rot and all the other marks that time and weather and use leave behind. To discover wabi-sabi is to see the singular beauty in something that may first look decrepit and ugly.
Woah. Well, I may have baby toys everywhere, but at least my dining room isn’t decrepit and ugly!! I think a Wabi Sabi mindset would counter: “so what if it is?” Similarly, to fully embrace the art of hospitality, one must be ready to be vulnerable, with yourself and with your home. The perceived shortcomings may ultimately be what makes the party a great one. A well lived-in home for example ALWAYS puts me at ease when I arrive somewhere new. (Inner monologue: “oh good! I can stop pretending I don’t have a gigantic mail pile too!) The more you host, the more you can reciprocate that back to your guests too. When I started hosting again after having a baby, I ultimately had to make the decision, do I want to apologize for the mess every time this person comes over or do I just want to be myself? Take it or leave it, this is who I am. (Or maybe more mildly – “This is the real test of our friendship – I hope our messiness doesn’t run you away!”) The decision to be true to myself (and embrace a Wabi-Sabi way of life) has served me far better than being “Pinterest Ready” ever could. I have a close, understanding group of friends who know the true me and find beauty in my imperfection. I would call that southern hospitality success.
Sources: https://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/wabi-sabi]]>Last month, we discussed the iconic southern front porch. For all its grandeur, when you pan the lens out a few feet, a home’s porch is simply an accessory. Southern residential architecture is an art form. It’s one of the region’s greatest prides and comes in many shapes and sizes. From grand mansions to chic cottages. There’s a home to fit every personality and price range.
There are many stylistic muses for Southern architecture: Neoclassical, Federal, French Colonial, Greek Revival, and the list goes on. For all the inspirational differences, I have found a few commonalities that run strong. First and foremost, they are always welcoming. Southern homes deliberately draw you in. Whether your curiosity peaks from their intricate details or the glimpses of décor seen through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Southern exteriors greet guests before the hostess even opens the door.
Secondly, they’re ready for the weather. Hot summers and active hurricane seasons are part of southern life. We know they’re coming, it’s just a matter of when. Southern homes are often elevated, with windows that open easily and multiple fans at the ready. Those classic “plantation” shutters aren’t just aesthetically pleasing either. They were created for function: Closing out the wind and the rain, while simultaneously letting the air flow. Did you know that these shutters were originally made in Greece? First made out of marble, the shutters transitioned to a wooden construction and their popularity skyrocketed in France’s 18th Century.
Finally, Southern homes are stylish. It’s all in the details. What draws me to southern architecture is their historical nod to style with a modern twist. Would you be surprised to see classic white columns across from a hot pink front door? Me neither and that’s what makes living in the south so fun! The region’s attention to house design began as far back as the 18th century. There was a great respect for European architectural styles stemming from the South’s large population of English, Irish, and French immigrants. The elegant, original details of these Neoclassical, Greek Revival, Federal and Georgian designs are still seen today. In a quintessential American move, however, southerners have adapted these architectural designs to make them individualized. Additional styles continue to be added throughout the years as well, such as Spanish and Creole inspired construction. This diversity continues to beautify the architectural landscape and makes Southern Exteriors that much more sought after. Architectural Digest top designer Thomas Jayne sums up the juxtaposition of new and old saying: “Tradition always has to be updated and pushed forward. After all, you wouldn’t send a debutante to her 80th birthday party wearing her original dress.” Although that might be a funny tradition to start…ha!
Southern homes inspire hospitality. They are welcoming, prepared, and stylish. To continue the discussion and see some of my favorite houses, please visit Old Southern Charm’s “Southern Exteriors” board on Pinterest. Thanks for stopping by!
Credits: Photo @instagranna , Research: elledecor.com, theplantationshutterco.com, southernliving.com]]>Click Here: Celebrities with Southern Roots
]]>"Before air-conditioning, climate was a factor [to hospitality]. In the South, people were more likely to be sitting on the porch when folks [walked by]. You couldn't pretend not to be home when there you were, sitting on [your] porch. You could pretend to be dead, but then you couldn't fan yourself."
Oh the irony! But in all seriousness, how do we get back to this? No, not the pretending to be dead part. The part where our culture had the time, energy, and good manners to make neighbors feel welcome. Hospitality has an innate selflessness about it. The act of preparing a meal, serving a drink, and chit-chatting on the porch personify human emotions. Being hospitable tells your guests "you matter more in this moment than anything else" (Note to self: resist the urge to check your phone!) Above all, the art of hospitality teaches a simple lesson: people come first. I'm looking forward to carrying this mantra into the new year.
Roy Blount's full article can be found here: https://www.rd.com/funny-stuff/southern-hospitality/
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